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HIDEOUSIn the shower I try to erase,
All the horror that I must face,
Scrubbing the dirt and hoping to glow,
Wishing for my beauty to show.
Look into a mirror only to see,
Why I am so hideous to me,
There are many people whose opinions may differ,
But as they share, my muscles only get stiffer.
Uncomfortable to hear as I will never believe,
Anything more than you are trying to deceive,
I've tried many times to concede your benevolence,
Can't help but to think it's only malevolence.
I look again when the fog clears,
Only to have to face my fears,
It wasn't the fog that made me so hideous,
But the truth that my existence is heinous.
Hand In HandBetrothed to one another,
Or so she was deceived,
In believing it would be,
only he and she.
Blinded by love,
Beguiled with his words,
Venom filled kisses,
As she slowly undresses.
Hand in Hand,
An unsuspecting victim,
To the intrusion
Of a brutal illusion.
Until the time comes,
No longer Illusive,
As she picks up HER scent,
He must now repent.
He cries for forgiveness,
She walks out the door,
Opens his hand,
And drops to the floor.
There sat a diamond,
When once was her hand,
Left to reminisce,
Of what was once his.
Monster of LoveI can scarcely fathom the upbringing,
A person must have endured,
To become such a monster of love.
An impressionable child,
The unthinkable acts,
Mind-blowing thoughts embedded.
How is it, exactly,
That a person whom you trusted heart and soul,
A person you loved with everything you had,
Could easily walk away.
Leaving you feeling lifeless,
Without a soul,
Your heart broken and bleeding.
To leave you meandering the depths of your mind,
Attempting the arduous task of comprehending
What it is you did to deserve such a heartless response?
Live WithoutGone from my arms,
Don't exist in your mind,
Knowing you never miss,
What you left behind.
Sitting in a large room,
Feeling small as can be,
Only have one hand to hold,
In my hand I hold me.
I feel withered and broken,
Alone in despair,
Hoping maybe someday,
You'll come back and be there.
What hurts me the most,
Is the truth I've been told,
No matter how long I wait,
Never again will I have you to hold.
Nowhere For MeAlone in my room I sit and I think,
I wonder to myself is there anywhere for me?
Close my eyes tightly as I try to fall asleep,
Wake in the morning and feel only defeat.
Dressed up in clothes that comfort me so,
As I set forth with no control.
Many people to meet and many to greet,
Nowhere I fit, there's nowhere for me.
Unsatisfied and disappointed I'm left to sink,
Into my seat wondering how will it be?
When I arrive back I will surely creep,
Through the front door on my own two feet.
With every step my curiosity will grow,
Will I ever have a special role?
Convinced and in bed, covered by my black sheet,
Nowhere will I fit, there's nowhere for me.
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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